Lately I have had this conversation with friends, family members, random strangers and children. The answers may vary slightly to this question…what does it mean to be an adult? But the question remains in the air-hanging there-waiting for you to run into it like a hidden spider web in the corner of the room.
When do you know you are a grown-up? What does it mean to be a woman? What does it mean to be a man?
In my studies on this topic, i.e living life, I have found that moments happen when you just know you might in fact be an adult. In these moments, which I will of course list examples of to “keep it real”, you have choices and these choices lead you to answer for yourself- if you might in fact have grown up. Here I will insert one side-note; when a sixteen year old cashier at the super-market calls you Mam it does not in fact make you an adult- just in case you are wondering.
I will admit that my list is from a single woman’s view-point insert your own moments here:
1. You are standing in the GAP dressing room staring at your ass in a pair of “professional” jeans not skinny jeans, and thinking “Oh yes, I could wear these to work and then out.” not “Take these pocketed, flared pants off my body and throw them under a bridge somewhere” ( you still own skinny jeans but know when to wear them)
2. You make a list of what you need at the store. You use that list to buy these items. You go home and cook said items. ( Yep, for me this was a moment.)
3. You consider bedtime before 11pm as much-needed beauty rest.
4. The list of bills to pay does not include a Victoria Secret credit card.
5. The presents you buy for others include baby showers, bridal parties, gift cards to their favorite home improvement stores and bottles of wine. Not so many bottles of straight booze, slices of pizza at 2am or tipping the K-jay for them.
6. You need to brush your teeth. Not just want to, but need too.
7. You don’t owe any glitter that can be worn on your face or other skin areas.
8. Eye cream.
9. You might in fact own matching towels. ( although some of us may have different opinions of matching, hot pink and orange WORK-Yo!)
10. You might like a few of the follow things…board games, word games, trivia, The Colbert Report, matching socks, flax-seed, hot Dads, brunch before 12pm, yard sales, long baths, men in their 20’s smiling at you, office supplies, fresh clean sheets, kale, day-dreaming about a perfect kitchen set up, hard-wood floors and onions.
For each of us I think the list is long and varied. There is no one way. No magic answer.
In all seriousness for me the first time I held my Niece and thought ” I would do anything for this little person, anything.” For me it was that unconditional love felt without fear that kick started my quest and strengthened my cause.
Without clear and defined rituals we are set adrift in the sea of “becoming an adult”….
What my research is leading me towards is that to be “a woman” or “man” we must each notice our moments and choices. It is a funny road with many things to distract. But knowing is half the battle.
Now without fear I am ready to jump into this ocean. And when I swim around I think “Yea this water is comfie, and I look great in my swim-cap.”